Better Late than Never: Subway Takes Down Jared’s Pants Dance Game

Still reeling from the total shock of having their longtime national frontman exposed as a child molesting pervert, Subway was caught with their pants down over an online game that in light of recent events was grossly inappropriate. The sandwich chain’s website was as of Wednesday morning still featuring the child’s game “Jared’s Pants Dance” even as the game's namesake, Jared Fogle was in court pleading guilty to charges of having sex with a minor and possession of child pornography. Mr. Fogle’s fall from the lofty status of being the smiling face of the global fast food giant to just another disgraced pederast had to have caught the company completely off guard and leaving the “Pant’s Dance" game up after they had cut ties with Fogle is yet another public relations headache. The game has since been removed.

The Washington Times reports that “Subway Scraps Jared Fogle’s ‘Pants Dance’ Kids Game”:

Subway has scrapped an online children’s game called “Jared’s Pants Dance,” after former pitchman Jared Fogle agreed Wednesday to plead guilty to child pornography charges and to crossing state lines to pay for sex with minors.

Mediaite reports that young players were tasked with catching Subway sandwiches and other items in a pair of Mr. Fogle’s famous oversized blue jeans.

The game was taken down after CNBC’s Ben Berkowitz tweeted about the game’s existence following Mr. Fogle’s announced plea deal on Wednesday.

The sandwich chain cut ties with Mr. Fogle just a day earlier.

Fogle has represented the image for Subway for so long that it is hard to believe that some people are aver going to be able to look at one of their restaurants again without thinking of him. The lurid details continue to come out as well including that he had pornographic images of children as young as six years old and that his preference for prospective sexual partners was “the younger, the better”. This is about as sleazy and disgusting as it gets and even more so when you consider that Fogle had toured schools across the country to promote healthy eating.

The dirty little pederast Fogle is now reaping the consequences for his despicable acts, his wife is divorcing him, his high school has removed him from their alumni hall of fame and he soon will be headed to prison. Subway is left to rebrand itself and wonder how they were ever duped so completely by a twisted operator like Fogle while Jared himself prepares to spend at least five years doing the pants dance in the pokey.

Police Seeking Georgia Waffle House Masturbator

In another of those strange and sordid tales that exemplify the moral and cultural rot in the star-spangled republic of Obamastan, police are seeking a man who was caught on video while masturbating in a Waffle House restaurant where he was employed. The perp, a 36 year old named  Emanuel Williams is wanted on public indecency charges for the act which took place at a Macon, Georgia location on Monday. Williams is reportedly a convicted felon who had previously served time in prison on sex related charges.

As reported by the New York Daily News in the story “Ex-Waffle House employee wanted after co-worker filmed him masturbating in Georgia diner: cops”:

A Waffle House masturbator is being sought by Georgia police after video surfaced of the since-fired employee pleasuring himself in one of the restaurant's booths, authorities say.

Emanuel Williams, who up until the video's discovery worked at the Macon eatery, was filmed committing the unappetizing act by a coworker Monday who told police "no one would believe her" unless she got it on video, the Smoking Gun reported.

Sure enough, investigators who watched the video say the 36-year-old registered sex offender is "clearly" seen masturbating while facing a window as the repulsed coworker threatens to post the video on the web.

As Williams went at it, his fellow employee claims he told her that he "didn't care" if the video went viral and he "continued on until he masturbated."

The website the Smoking Gun provides more graphic details of Williams’ whipping up of a batch of fresh batter in the story entitled “Police Hunting Waffle House Masturbator”:

Investigators who watched the video reported that it “clearly” shows Williams masturbating and “has a shot of his penis.” While pleasuring himself, Williams was “sitting at a booth facing a window,” according to a Bibb County Sheriff's Office report.

As detailed in a second police report, Williams and a female coworker were the only employees in the eatery Monday when Williams announced that he was preparing to pleasure himself. The woman, who said she was on the phone at the time, told deputies that she did not take Williams seriously.

Upon finishing her call, the woman “walked over to the suspect to see if he really was jacking his penis, and he was,” an investigator reported. The woman said that she began recording Williams with her phone because she “knew no one would believe her” when she later recounted the incident.

“She stated that as she was recording him, she was telling him the whole time that she was recording him and that he was a pervert,” a deputy noted. “She stated that he responded by saying he wasn't a pervert he was just a freak."

Freak, pervert or just plain old compulsive masturbator, Williams was fired from his job with the popular chain. But beware that if he manages to evade the long arm of the law he may soon be working the griddle at a Dennys near you. It gives a whole new meaning to the term "loosely scrambled".