Toro! Toro! Obama Waves Red Flag at GOP Bullshitters

In a matter of hours Emperor Barack Obama is slated to give his big speech on immigration “reform” to a less than national television audience. The major networks - with more than enough mind-numbing reality show bullshit of their own - will decline to air his stemwinder. But Americans can be reassured that the 24/7 electronic sewer of cable TV will be all over it like gravy on rice. I can only imagine the near masturbatory ecstasy that will occur on the set of the Democratic party propaganda network MSNBC as El Presidente grants amnesty to millions of illegal aliens who will be allowed to skirt the official procedures. Hell, you would think that they were Wall Street bankers or something. This may not be politically correct and it may be insensitive to the plight of many affected but corporate American desperately needs this in order to keep wages depressed due to job scarcity and Mr. Obama is once again doing their bidding as the top bagman in the USA! USA! USA!. Those trapped in the middle are just pawns in the big game of "fuck you I got mine" that is Corporate Monopoly. 

Tonight is the night that Obama is going to take out that "red flag" and wave it at the bullshitter that is newly crowned Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell who talks a good game but never backs it up with action. It was good ole Mitch who led the recent effort to scare the crap out of Americans with threats of ISIS beheadings on every street corner to torpedo reforms to Obama’s NSA Stasi. McConnell likely got a nice pat on the back from dear leader for that one and the two are colluding on the job killing, ultra-secret Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) globalist trade deal as well. So the new Republican majority will be subjected to it’s first test as Obama extends his big middle finger and tells them all to eat shit wrapped in a tortilla shell.

At least there is the flamboyant Senator Ted Cruz (the Texas Zamboni) who is on Obama’s ass like an ICE enforcement squad after a pack of Guatemalan ten year olds. Cruz is garnering big time media attention today with his virtual declaration of war on the executive order machine in chief. According to a snarky story from the Washington Post entitled “Ted Cruz goes Peak Senate in opposition to Emperor Obama” the potential 2016 contender invoked the Roman Emperor Cicero in delivering a broadside to Obama:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) thrives on drama. He has a flair for hyperbole and a penchant for wrapping mundane aspects of policy-making in the costumes of the American Revolution or classical literature.

And so, with President Obama expected to announce a series of actions on immigration Thursday night, and with Cruz having long sought to frame Obama as being imperial, Cruz took to the floor of the Senate to deliver a speech worthy of the great Roman orator Cicero to criticize Obama's behavior.

And when we say "worthy of Cicero," it is meant literally. Cruz actually took a speech from Cicero from 63 B.C., changed references to murder and revolution into ones about the IRS and the Constitution, and hammed his way through.

You have to give Cruz one thing, he makes this entire stupid political circus worth watching as America circles the drain just as Rome did. I don’t know about Cicero but Obama could certainly pass for Caligula or better yet a modern version of Nero who plays golf as the country burns. So far McConnell is doing his best imitation of the invisible man and that is not the leadership that GOP pundits claim that Americans voted for two weeks ago. This is of course a lie because the real thing that did in the Democrats was their own complicity in the ongoing destruction of this once great country. Americans may be stupid as well as lazy but they may have been inclined to turn out to vote had the Democrats actually stood for anything outside of Republican Lite. 

Cruz has a set of solid brass cajones and will be putting the wood to Barry for months to come. But at some point it will become the undercard as Obama becomes less interested in lording it over America and eyes his lifetime of hitting the links at luxury courses worldwide on the taxpayer dole. The real steel cage death match will come when he takes on Queen Hillary the Inevitable which will be like Godzilla versus Megalon and will almost be worth paying to watch. Cruz may be a grandstanding douchebag but is he really that much worse than anyone that the Democrats have to offer?

Like it really matters which fucking party is in power anymore so just enjoy the show that is being broadcast to the schmucks in steerage as the USS Collapse steams towards the iceberg. 

Democrats Whip Out Their Slick Willie

Outside of Adolf Hitler himself it would be hard to imagine a historical political figure who is as much a turnoff to so many as President Barack Obama. Barry is now officially radioactive to the point where his even speaking at a campaign stop to bolster a hapless Democrat’s election hopes sent hordes of disgusted Americans scrambling to the exits. One could say that he is about as popular as the Ebola virus these days which is particularly ominous for the staggering Dems as they are about to be given the knockout punch by voters. So what do the Democrats do?  They bring in the big gun, former President Bill Clinton to troll for suckers in the waning days before political Armageddon 2014.

Bubba Clinton’s stops include several in the Bluegrass State to stump for Alison Lundergan Grimes in her bid to upset longtime Senator and the man who would be Senate Majority Leader, the turtle-faced con artist Mitch McConnell. This comes despite the fact that the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee (DSCC) pretty much threw in the towel last week by bailing on funding  her negative ads. It is as though the shameless old degenerate with the allegedly crooked penis is a man of miracles.

According to a story from the website of  Democratic party propaganda network MSNBC:

National Democrats may have abandoned Alison Lundergan Grimes in her fight to unseat Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell next month, but Bill Clinton isn’t giving up hope: The former president returns to the state Tuesday afternoon to campaign for Grimes in two rallies, his third visit since she won the Democratic primary earlier this year.

Clinton’s efforts to stump for the Democratic hopeful reveal his continued support. He will attend an event in Owensboro at 3 p.m. local time, and in Paducah at 7 p.m. local. He made his first appearance on her behalf in February, ahead of the state primary that Grimes later won by 37 percentage points. In August, Clinton visited the state again to address a crowd of supporters. And just last week, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton joined her husband in Louisville, where she warned voters that they will regret taking a victory for granted.

Unlike President Barack Obama, whose approval ratings in Kentucky continuously hover near 30%, the former commander-in-chief remains popular among residents in the mostly conservative state. Thousands of residents flocked to hear him speak during his past two appearances in the Bluegrass State. And both Clintons carried Kentucky in their respective presidential campaigns.

Grimes is likely doomed but according to some reports she may end being beholden to the Clintons for their last ditch effort to bolster her hopes.  The Louisville Courier Journal published a story: “If elected, Grimes would owe the Clintons” and it is a good bet that the man who is incapable of keeping his dick in his pants is counting on exactly that. Slick Willie is probably just sizing up a prospective new piece of ass for his likely return to the White House as first husband in January 2017.

The mainstream media is already swooning over the restoration of the Clinton dynasty. The Washington Post is running a story entitled "Hillary Clinton is a bright spot on a gloomy Democratic election landscape" that states:

The presumptive Democratic front-runner for 2016 is among her party’s best assets to raise money and energize voters amid a gloomy election landscape for Democrats this fall, and she is campaigning hard even on behalf of apparent lost causes.

As a pair of events this week in California illustrated, Clinton’s efforts to raise money and get out the vote for Democratic congressional and gubernatorial candidates often dovetail with her own political agenda. Her first political season after stepping down as secretary of state has combined political boosterism for Democrats — including in key presidential states — with high-dollar fundraising and lucrative paid speeches.

The appearances give revealing clues as to what kind of candidate Clinton might be in two years — emphasizing women’s issues and striving to thread the needle between her hawkish, centrist history and the more liberal base that rejected her in favor of Barack Obama in 2008.

Here in San Francisco on Monday, Clinton gave a spirited call to arms to Democrats as she road-tested what is likely to be her economic message if she runs again. The November midterms, she said, come down “to a simple question: Who’s on your side?”

For conservatives who thought that the corrupt state-corporate media was in the bag for Barack I have news for you: you haven't seen anything yet. America just loves stories about goofy dipshit couples. I mean my God, in what other country could the reality TV series "The Osbornes" have been such a smash hit? Outside of  the endless wars, the imposition of a national domestic surveillance state, using the IRS to target political foes and botched responses to natural disasters and diseases, the media has suffered through years of boredom. There is nothing quite like the smell of tawdry sexual naughtiness and marital betrayal that is more alluring to our panty-sniffing tabloid press.

Like it or not, America is going to get reacquainted with the nation’s “first black president” William Jefferson Clinton very soon. I suppose that it was inevitable but the chubby little trollop who occasionally served as Bubba's humidor, Monica Lewinsky has recently surfaced again as well. If nothing else, the future is not going to be lacking for sheer entertainment value. That is if you have a really twisted sense of humor.