Sunday, December 21, 2014

Marco Rubio Can Eat a Bag of Salsa-Flavored Dicks

It was the most hilarious thing of all when prospective 2016 Republican presidential candidate Rand Paul took to social media to call out Florida Senator Marco Rubio for being an “isolationist”. Rubio, who must be horrified to be watching his political career go up in smoke after Emperor Obama’s shocking reversal of decades of U.S. policy towards Cuba can probably be forgiven for being a little bitchy this past week. The ambitious young Floridian had managed to perform the equivalent of the splitting of the atom by becoming the self-anointed GOP authority on all things Hispanic. Never forget that he was for "immigration reform" which is the politically correct term for "amnesty for illegal aliens" before  flip-flopping to be against it. It was an act of triangulation that would even do the old Jedi master Slick Willie Clinton proud.

But Rubio has now gone totally batshit - which can be expected of one who slimes around with the likes of John McCain and Lindsey Graham - and has taken to directing his fire at Rand Paul, the sworn enemy of state-worshipping “conservatives”. In a piece from the Beltway political gossip website Politico “Rubio fires back at Paul” the salsa-soaked bitch fit continued:

Their fight isn’t over.

Florida Sen. Marco Rubio struck back at Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul late Friday as the first battle of the GOP primary spilled over to Twitter and splashed across Facebook then resumed on the airwaves, a preview of the Republican Party’s coming cage match over foreign policy.

“I think it’s unfortunate that Rand has decided to adopt Barack Obama’s foreign policy on [Cuba],” Rubio told radio host Mark Levin. “[He] basically repeated the talking points of the president. And that’s fine, he has every right to support the president’s foreign policy, that’s who he wants to line up with, but I’m telling you, it isn’t going to work.”

Rubio said improving relations with Cuba will only put more money in the hands of the Cuban military instead of its citizens.

The line about Rand Paul embracing Obama’s policies is hysterical considering that before Rubio realized that he would have to navigate the brutal gauntlet of the GOP primaries he himself was a huge backer of amnesty. One who is familiar with Rubio's ways just might suspect that the real thing that truly sticks in his craw about the whole Cuban “normalization” plan is that he didn’t come up with the idea first. All of that Chamber of Commerce money would have practically rained from the sky upon his campaign if he had and he knows it. Rubio’s meteoric rise to a national political figure was largely a result of his latching a ride on the tea party bandwagon in the great mid-term backlash of 2010 despite being a phony. It was only going to be a matter of time until he exposed his true colors and had his rice bowl broken. He was sniffed out pretty quickly too and isn't going to fool people so easily again.

The entire Cuban issue is enormously complicated and saturated with emotion. This is especially so now that Cold War dinosaurs are slowly being sucked under by the great tar pit of time and they aren't going quietly. While Fidel Castro is certainly a dictatorial bastard he is not long upon this mortal coil and the potential for the development of Cuba as a capitalist market has American corporations salivating. If there is anything that is going to dislodge the Commie parasite from the Cuban host it is an introduction to a form of society that embraces free-markets, free expression and puts it on a path towards modernization. It is more than a little hypocritical to rage against Cuba yet turn a blind eye to doing business with China which is arguably a much more repressive country. There is however all of that debt that has been racked up with Beijing over the years by our illustrious leaders.

There is also the matter of the role of the Pope in brokering the deal. While he is no hero to staunch conservatives given his comments critical of capitalism you would think that the position would still exert some moral authority. Fifty years of economic isolation have failed to either dislodge the bearded devil in Havana or improve the day to day lives of ordinary Cubans. As unpalatable as it may seem to many the best thing for both Cuba and American business to do is to bury the hatchet and move on. Sure, there is the indignity of having old Fidel still around to gloat but that is a temporary problem because Raul will be singing Yankee Doodle Dandy and living high off the hog when the day comes when he can piss on his brother’s grave. Money talks, and you will see that is even the case in Cuba once Castro finally croaks.

One thing is certain though and that is that the two-party criminal syndicate is terrified of Rand Paul because he is forward-thinking and has the ability to grasp the political Holy Grail that is crossover appeal. Republicans had best very quickly realize that continuing to milk the Cold War animus of a rapidly decreasing demographic as an issue in 2016 is only going to put Hillary Clinton into the White House.

Rubio will be given the limelight Sunday morning to do his shtick on ABC's This Week With George Stephanopolous who will no doubt be delighted by his Tony Montana style staccato diatribe against Obama and Paul.