Better Late than Never: Subway Takes Down Jared’s Pants Dance Game

Still reeling from the total shock of having their longtime national frontman exposed as a child molesting pervert, Subway was caught with their pants down over an online game that in light of recent events was grossly inappropriate. The sandwich chain’s website was as of Wednesday morning still featuring the child’s game “Jared’s Pants Dance” even as the game's namesake, Jared Fogle was in court pleading guilty to charges of having sex with a minor and possession of child pornography. Mr. Fogle’s fall from the lofty status of being the smiling face of the global fast food giant to just another disgraced pederast had to have caught the company completely off guard and leaving the “Pant’s Dance" game up after they had cut ties with Fogle is yet another public relations headache. The game has since been removed.

The Washington Times reports that “Subway Scraps Jared Fogle’s ‘Pants Dance’ Kids Game”:

Subway has scrapped an online children’s game called “Jared’s Pants Dance,” after former pitchman Jared Fogle agreed Wednesday to plead guilty to child pornography charges and to crossing state lines to pay for sex with minors.

Mediaite reports that young players were tasked with catching Subway sandwiches and other items in a pair of Mr. Fogle’s famous oversized blue jeans.

The game was taken down after CNBC’s Ben Berkowitz tweeted about the game’s existence following Mr. Fogle’s announced plea deal on Wednesday.

The sandwich chain cut ties with Mr. Fogle just a day earlier.

Fogle has represented the image for Subway for so long that it is hard to believe that some people are aver going to be able to look at one of their restaurants again without thinking of him. The lurid details continue to come out as well including that he had pornographic images of children as young as six years old and that his preference for prospective sexual partners was “the younger, the better”. This is about as sleazy and disgusting as it gets and even more so when you consider that Fogle had toured schools across the country to promote healthy eating.

The dirty little pederast Fogle is now reaping the consequences for his despicable acts, his wife is divorcing him, his high school has removed him from their alumni hall of fame and he soon will be headed to prison. Subway is left to rebrand itself and wonder how they were ever duped so completely by a twisted operator like Fogle while Jared himself prepares to spend at least five years doing the pants dance in the pokey.

Hold the Meat: Former Subway Icon Jared Fogle to Cop to Child Porn Charges

The other shoe has now dropped for the longtime pitchman of the Subway sandwich empire. Jared Fogle, the creepy little hustler whose bespectacled face had become synonymous with one of America’s top fast food chains, has reportedly copped a deal with prosecutors to plead guilty on child pornography charges. Mr. Fogle’s fall from grace has been astonishingly rapid with the corporation severing ties with a man who they had invested millions in and were on the brink of featuring in a new advertising campaign that would tout the ubiquitous Jared as a family man.

CNN reports on the latest chapter in the Fogle fiasco in the story “Jared Fogle expected to plead guilty to child porn charges, sources say”:

Former Subway pitchman Jared Fogle is expected to plead guilty to charges related to possession of child pornography, two law enforcement officials told CNN on Tuesday.

The sandwich chain suspended its relationship with Fogle earlier this year after investigators raided his Indiana home.

The raid came more than two months after Russell C. Taylor, the executive director of the Jared Foundation, was arrested in Indianapolis on federal child pornography charges.

Contacted Tuesday by CNN, Taylor's attorney declined to comment on the development. Attempts to contact Fogle's attorney, Ron Elberger, were not immediately successful, although he did tell CNN affiliate WXIN that he had no comment.

Subway tweeted that it no longer has a relationship with Fogle.

While Fogle will now be dealing with his mounting legal problems – and possibly marital ones too since he has been outed as a sex pervert – heads may roll at Subway which went all-in with Jared and never suspected that he had a dark side. They not only featured the dude in a large amount of their TV ad spots but he also popped up on the NFL postgame shows as well as made tours across the country to make promotional appearances - now they have been forced to flush him down the memory hole. It all began to fall apart though after his home was raided last month in connection to a child porn investigation involving the former head of his Jared Foundation and has been going downhill for the celebrity sandwich shill ever since.

There is no word on whether Fogle will be subject to incarceration at this time but if he does go to jail he will be spending a lot of time there without his pants on as he will need to appeal to an entirely new audience.

CNN Loses Nearly 300 Pounds of Ugly Fat

CNN, America’s self-proclaimed “most trusted” name in news has just lost approximately 300 pounds of ugly fat now that Candy Crowley is departing. In a Friday announcement, network boss Jeff Zucker confirmed via an internal memo that the hostess with the mostest is moving on. Crowley has been a fixture at CNN for years and was the network’s go to girl for all things political. The departure of Ms. Crowley leaves a gigantic hole in the Sunday morning masturbatory festival of the official government propaganda shows. Her finale will be today when she interviews former President George W. Bush. She is the second high profile celebrity to leave the Sunday bloviation circuit following the ouster of NBC’s uber-slimy David Gregory earlier this year.

As reported in a story on the  CNN website “Crowley to leave CNN after 27 years”:

CNN chief political correspondent and "State of the Union" host Candy Crowley is leaving the network, CNN Worldwide President Jeff Zucker said in a staff email Friday.

Zucker said Crowley "has made the decision to move on, so she can embark on the next chapter of her already prolific career. As difficult as it is for us to imagine CNN without Candy, we know that she comes to this decision thoughtfully, and she has our full support."

Crowley, 65, joined CNN in 1987. Zucker said in 27 years with the network, Crowley had visited all 50 states and covered more than a dozen leading presidential contenders' campaigns -- from George H.W. Bush to Barack Obama.

He called Crowley "one of the most important and impactful journalists on our air."

The insipid blathering sow will be remembered for the ire that she drew from Republicans after the 2012 presidential debate between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney.  While acting as moderator during the nationally televised town hall style gabfest at New York’s Hoffstra University she inserted herself into the debate by bailing out Obama over the Benghazi embassy attack. It was a violation of the rules as well as an example of what happens when a celebrity pundit is allowed to act as a moderator, they sometimes can’t control themselves. Crowley hogged the post-debate coverage by becoming a bigger story than the event itself and Romney never recovered. Americans can however take solace in that Mitt would have been every bit Obama's equal in fucking the country up because unless you are a defender of the corrupt status quo you don't even get a seat at the table in the U$A.

Fellow CNN celebrity pundit Dana Bash bemoaned the loss of Crowley who she called the “soul of CNN”. The network has yet to announce a replacement, in particular for the State of the Union gig but have no doubt that they will have no problem in dredging up another hack. Perhaps they will give Jon Stewart a call since a good portion of America seems to place an inordinate amount of faith in clowns spoon-feeding them their McNews nuggets.

Oscar Puked: American Mesmerized by Celebrity as Collapse Looms

On Monday the putrid excuse for the media in this country temporarily cut away from the incessant smearing and bashing of Russian leader Vladimir Putin to report on the gravely important news that the latest celebrity on trial Oscar Pistorius vomited. The paraplegic sprinter, creatively nicknamed “Blade Runner” became just another piece of carrion to be feasted upon by the media vultures after he blew away his South African model girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp on Valentine’s Day last year.  Too bad that he didn’t live in Florida, the diseased penis of America where he could have invoked his “stand your ground” defense as did the self-anoited neighborhood watchman George Zimmerman, loud music murderer Michael Dunn or Curtis Reeves who gunned down a man in cold blood in a movie theater as though a box of popcorn thrown at him was a threat to his life. That is the way that we roll down here in the Sunshine State and to a larger degree in all of America, a brainwashed, dumbed-down, electronically lobotomized lemming colony that has been indoctrinated to revere violence for it is that which is crucial to the ongoing series of what John Kerry refers to as incredible acts of aggression  to make the world safe for corporate exploitation.

Not that the amazing barfing Oscar really did very much to break up the logjam of anti-Russian propaganda, the presstitutes were still in full onslaught mode and the proxy war between Obama and Putin over the global finance mafia orchestrated putsch in Ukraine was only one prong of the trident wielded by the war machine on Monday. There is the matter of that Malaysian jetliner that went missing over the weekend and a desperate attempt by the American national security establishment to conjure up a link to some sort of terrorist action – particularly one with an Iranian angle to it. You can rest assured that the neocons and their Likudnik accomplices are scrambling to piece together this narrative which meshes very nicely with the public relations blitz unleashed by loose cannon Benjamin Netanyahu. The Israeli Prime Minister, fresh off of his embarrassing performance at the AIPAC conference in Washington returned home to show off what was said to be a shipment of intercepted munitions sent to Gaza by Iran. Bibi ranted that Iran was “fooling the world” in his latest tirade directed at undermining the P5+1 nuclear talks so that America can get about the business of feeding their youth into a multi-trillion dollar meat grinder to fight the war that he doesn’t have the balls to wage himself.

The always imminent attack on Iran, especially given the now spinning out of control escalation in hostilities over Ukraine will for all intents and purposes ignite the global conflagration that the neocons and most of all the brainless Christian Zionist shock troops in The Homeland so desire. For the neocons it is the continuation of the PNAC doctrine, for Bibi it is lebensraum and for the Rapturheads it is the longed for moment when they all fly up into the sky dirty nasty naked to sit at the foot of God’s throne while the rest of us are left to suffer excruciating fates for their entertainment and amusement. The whole fucking world is certifiably insane or at least it is when viewed through the jaundiced eye of what now passes for America post September 11, 2001.

Few in the US establishment are more desperate to find any sort of nugget of information on Flight MH370 that could be trumpeted as a ‘evidence’ of a terrorist plot and then parlayed into the false pretense for even more of that apple pie authoritarianism than the pride of Michigan who is Congressman Mike Rogers gets a chubby over. The porcine boss of the House Intelligence Committee has been squealing like a stuck pig on whatever corrupt ‘news’ program that will have him as a guest over any efforts to reign in the surveillance-warfare state. The fanatic Rogers has a proclivity for just pulling flat-out nonsense out of his ass such as Edward Snowden being a Russian spy, working all the angles to have journalist Glenn Greenwald targeted by the US rogue regime, of course bashing Putin and Sunday on ABC’s “This Week” speculating that the disappearance of that doomed Malaysian flight was the result of terrorism.

Mr. Rogers is notorious for hurling around baseless bullshit without any semblance of proof which is exactly why he is a such a Sunday morning frontman for the police state. Sure there could have been a terrorist angle but it also could have been a mechanical failure (something that is very likely given the need to squeeze every last fractional cent of profit out of everything on the face of the earth these days), a lightning strike or even an abduction by space aliens which all have just as much actual evidence backing them as the Iranian terror insinuation. Today despite the frantic work to pin the devil horns on the ayatollahs the stolen passport red herring was being debunked by no less an authority than Interpol. Do not however expect that to in any way stop the ass clown Rogers, whose uncontrollable mania borders on that of a pederast and who will continue to lie with impunity as long as he is never called on it.

Then there is the man who is a national hero and should be welcomed home with a ticker tape parade and one of those Medal of Freedom thingies that Obama is always giving to Oprah. Former government contractor turned NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden who appeared via video feed at the SXSW (South by Southwest) festival in Austin, Texas before one of those giant constitutions similar to the one that adorned attorney Saul Goodman’s office in the hit television series Breaking Bad. Snowden, a man who Mike from Michigan would like to see slowly skinned alive with a dull knife and then boiled in oil continued to spread awareness on the flagrantly illegal activities of the secret government as it exists buried within the "Deep State". No matter what the rogue US government and its criminal operatives do to discredit and demonize Snowden the more that his message continues to resonate and if one Glenn Greenwald can be bothered to get off of his ass and stop resting on his laurels then we can finally get to the real stuff that the NSA has been engaged in. Spying on American phone calls, perusing online porno habits and playing peekaboo with their buddies across the pond at GCHQ through Yahoo webcam videos  is only the tip of the iceberg.

The more that the establishment does to smear and marginalize Snowden the longer that he is allowed to endure as a symbol and that is what truly scares the living shit out of the thugs who are running the system. So as the televisions play on, mesmerizing the masses of asses with spectacle, celebrity, sexual deviance and most of all pimping fear it is all the more imperative for those who have managed to escape - as in the allegory of Plato's Cave - continue to work as hard as possible to expose the lies, hypocrisy and murderous intent of the American war machine and the global finance mafia that have their boot on our throats.

Hard to fault Oscar for vomiting, any sane American likely feels the same way these days.