You think I am a fool but you are a greater fool than I am.
- Sitting Bull
Helicopter Ben Bernanke spoke Wednesday at the first press conference in history conducted by the high priest of the temple of moneychangers formally known as the Federal Reserve. Mr. Green Shoots as usual was dapper with his costly suit and professorial clipped beard, the lighting reflecting off of his bald head and shooting off in waves of positivity porn thanks to well rehearsed talking points sprinkled with focus group tested terms such as "headwinds", designed to put a sunny side up sheen on the former Time Man of the Year's message. Bernanke's wondrous Quantitative Easing 2 (QE2) program as is not obvious to anyone except idiots, cynical politicians and top level finance industry scoundrels has been an abject disaster when it comes to anything other than destroying the value of the dollar, driving a huge spike in gas and food prices and igniting waves of global unrest.
I don't know just where I'm going
But I'm goin' to try for the kingdom if I can
'Cause it makes me feel like I'm a man
When I put a spike into my vein
Then I tell you things aren't quite the same
When I'm rushing on my run
And I feel just like Jesus' son
And I guess I just don't knowAnd I guess that I just don't know
- Lou Reed, Heroin
Zombie Banks, Zombie Jesus - In the aftermath of Easter, the Fed and King Ben have administered the kiss of the sweet, sweet spike into the vein of the banking monstrosity with dog whistle language that QE3 will soon be coming. After the afternoon's regurgitation of balderdash that was so lame as to make a George W. Bush presser seem as a gem like fountain of rare and exalted truths the markets did what any junkie does when the next fix arrives. Stocks and the winner's circle that is the DJIA (Dick Jammed In Ass) hit a multi-year high while the dollar continues to collapse showing the complete erosion of reality based economics as compared to the crack ho economy for which Chairman Ben is both pusher and pimp. The finance oligarchy mugwump Bernanke was lobbed softballs repeatedly and one gets the feeling that the entire charade was scripted from the get go. For an example of the utterly incomprehensible nature of Bernanke's answers get a load of this one:
“While it’s very, very important for us to try to help the economy create jobs and to support the recovery, I think every central banker understands that keeping inflation low and stable is absolutely essential to a successful economy”
Keeping inflation low? It is obvious that he hasn't been to the fucking grocery store lately or for that matter a gas station. The very fact that energy and food costs are omitted from core inflation stats would in any sort of educated society trigger the bullshit detectors immediately, unfortunately we here in America don't live in one. That the Fed press conference is being hailed as indicative of a new era of openness speaks of both the dire state of idiocy, willful blindness and ineptitude that has taken hold over the past thirty years and gradually grown into a voracious and incurable form of crotch rot fungus. Bernanke, like Atlas shrugged, downplaying the rotten future for jobseekers, such a shameful and woebegone situation that there were reportedly around 938,000 applicants turned away from McJobs during the trumpeted hiring spring spree for Mickey D's. What Dear Chairman in his innate arrogance and maniacal certitude did was dance around and run out the clock, leave the heavy lifting about the rancid state of the American economy to a guy like Wal-Mart CEO Mike Duke who dared to utter the unthinkable and that the shoppers at his florescent discount emporiums for ever more expensive Chinese goods are GASP - running out of money!
Scumbaggers Lament Release of Obama Birth Certificate
OK, So Now Fucking Prove It's Real Goddammit!: In a stunning, beautifully timed and theretofore unannounced move on Wednesday morning the White House released the official version of Barack Obama's birth certificate. That giant sucking sound that was heard in the aftermath was the asshole of the Donald doing an extended puckering. Of course though it will never be enough for the low grade half-wits that are the birthers, the teabaggers and the cynical assholes seeking to profit off of their idiocy. Rather than just let the entire fucking circus die, the corporate media of course spins reality on its head in order to suck in ratings, hey this is Murka. MSNBC led with the story of the ridiculous ass clown publisher of the borderline retard gazette otherwise known as World Net Daily claiming that Obama was not born in the USA, Farrah, who sports a nifty dirty sanchez mustache in his bio pic justifiably has his panties in a wad because of the obvious hit on sales for his upcoming slimefest book. Farrah, like Trump is obviously in it all for the money and I guess that Glenn Beck got out while the getting was good having extracted millions of dollars from morons to fund his phony populist schtick as well as his plush digs in tony New Canaan, Connecticut. This being America, a land where P.T. Barnum once famously observed "there's a sucker born every minuet", H.L. Mencken nailed as "nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people" and W.C. Fields chipped in with his words of advice to the Farrahs, Becks and Trumps to "never wisen up a chump". So while Obushma presented the paper the Republicans and neocon schemers were already well into their next step, LIE. The Adolf Hitler maxim of the big lie continues to be the gift that keeps on giving to right-wing scum like Frank Luntz and the rest of the degenerate pigfuckers who sure as shit didn't need fucking experiments on lab rats to determine that the pea brain of the average scumbagger is as pliable as a wad of play doh shaped into a pocket pussy just waiting to be impregnated with the seeds of the next whopper.
Let's get one thing straight though, I am no defender of Obama but rather than invent silly fantasies to peddle to pathological bigots, brokedick losers and retrogressive bible whackers there are more than enough REAL legitimate beefs with the man and his fascist lite agenda. Obama has not met one serious Bush criminal policy that his administration hasn't defended, tinkered with an made it worse or condoned by refusing to overturn. A series of campaign promises quickly became nullified when the parties were over and the majority of voters went back into their four year cycle of hibernation. The rottenness of the Obama administration began with the appointment of the ill-mannered, borderline psychotic and crooked little pit viper Rahm Emanuel and went from there into dragging back Clinton era ghouls and Robert Rubin Wall Street scam artists, retaining Bush Secretary of War Robert Gates and reappointing the deranged Bernanke. He had the pustulent anti-gay pig Rick Warren give the invocation at the inaugural, played kissy face with arch war criminal Bibi Netanyahu, reneged on closing Gitmo, I do however live in the reality based world and am not a racist, read books and am possessed of a deep sense of skepticism so I am not susceptible to the routine dog and pony shows that the fascist Republicans have trafficked in ever since Nixon's Southern Strategy.
Hawaii Five - Ohhhhh Fuck No....
Horses-assus Interruptus: Donald Trump's Hawaii Pakololo patrol was scooped on the million dollar paper chase for Barry O's birth certificate. The Donald, whose presidential hopes sustained a devastating hit amidships when his keystone issue was blown out of the water best call back his ace investigators who had descended upon the Hawaiian Islands like a swarm of maggots over a piece of rotting meat, why continue to pour money into an obviously failed venture. Not that politics is anything like the man with the hairdo that looks like a skin graft from the ass of a baboon can equate to his gig as a real estate mogul but one would think that a man with a history of bankruptcies an failed ventures would appreciate the concept of cutting his losses. Despite the dead-enders who wouldn't be satisfied of the proof of Obama's birth were they to have a fucking video of the event the release of the certificate pretty much relegates this to the fringes once the initial corrupt media followup is swallowed whole by the coming royal wedding saturation coverage.
It is going to be interesting in seeing the evolution of the birth certificate issue, so much time, money and effort has been spent in this obvious smear campaign (a good amount of it coming from our special friends over in Israel I suspect) to slyly capitalize on traditional American 'nigger hating' racism. From the get to the entire operation has been constructed to foment suspicion against Obama and to paint him as some sort of an alien, an Islamic terrorist supporting plant, a cunning Kenyan anti-colonialist, a Manchurian style deep cover Commie bent on destroying the American capitalist system (Lloyd Blankfein and the boys over at Goldman Sachs must have really pissed themselves laughing over that one) and the entire narrative pandered to those who are the dumbest among us, the peckerwood trailer trash who just can't accept a black man as being elected to the presidency. An early diversion for the birther bullshit is being embarked upon by journalist Wayne Madsen, a man whose work I have extreme reservations about who has been slumming around on the Alex Jones show and talking about how he is having to leave the country under a vague and secretive death threat by the Obama government. Madsen is pushing that there is a CIA connection to Obama and his parents now that the birth certificate issue has been debunked once and for all to anyone with a smidgen of sanity. Not that Madsen isn't totally full of horseshit but I could buy the CIA angle, especially with the CIA being nothing more than Wall Street's Gestapo and Obama by his actions has done nothing but serve the interests of Wall Street. This is something that Barry O. has been quite adept at and let's face it, the CIA has had a hand in the destiny of the presidency ever since they colluded with other criminal capitalist elements to blow John F. Kennedy's head off in Dealey Plaza back in 63. For a synopsis of CIA malevolence check out this post from my old buddy Len Hart over at The Existentialist Cowboy on How the CIA created a Ruling Corporate Overclass In America.
It would be too easy and flippant to say that the last few days worth of biblical devastation of the American south, notably the asshole of civilization Alabama is God's punishment on peckerwood nation for their sins against mankind as a result of their stupidity, bigotry and raw hatred ... but why the fuck not? Hey you chicken fried motherfuckers, just how many of you are going to turn down that big gubmint disaster relief money from dat dere Kenyan Nigga in the WHITE House tomorrow?
Just my two cents