Hey! Hey! Hey! It’s Chris Christie!

"I mean what I say and I say what I mean, and that's what America needs right now,"

-Chris Christie

Arriving on the scene like a charging RINO, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie officially waddled his way into an already bursting at the seams Republican presidential field. Christie’s belated entry has been a foregone conclusion ever since his campaign went live with the website on Saturday. The Garden State boss man made his announcement at his alma matter, Livingston High School where he worked to sell himself as a man of the people who vowed to put the shards of the shattered American dream back into place by working together to solve the nation’s problems.

USA Today is reporting that “Chris Christie officially launches White House bid”:

Christie was joined at Livingston High School by family, childhood friends and longtime supporters for the announcement, which leaned heavily on his family background and the community he grew up in. Two people spoke before Christie took the stage: A friend of his mother's and a former Christie classmate, both from Livingston.

"I've spent the last 13 years of my life, as U.S. attorney and governor of this state, fighting for fairness and justice and opportunity for the people of the state of New Jersey. That fight has not made me more weary. It has made me stronger, and I am now ready to fight for the people of the United States of America," Christie said.

He added that the nation needed to restore "strength and decision-making and authority back in the Oval Office," as he announced his candidacy for the GOP nomination.

Christie entered and exited the stage to music by Bon Jovi, one day after Jon Bon Jovi hosted and performed at a fundraiser for Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. The first song that played as the doors to the gym opened to the public was Bruce Springsteen's Glory Days, but songs from Christie's musical idol were absent from the event itself.

On the eve of his announcement, the governor's office announced a series of actions that would be looked upon favorably by core national constituencies for Republicans

He directed his attorney general to change state regulations to require firearm applications filed by victims of domestic violence or violent crimes to be considered on an expedited basis, within 14 days. And for a sixth time, he vetoed bills providing additional funding to family planning clinics and expanding Medicaid coverage for such services.

All fine and dandy but it is obvious pandering to the conservative base to defund abortion clinics and loosen gun restrictions but the main thing between Christie and the rest of the crowded field selling that shtick is that he is as phony as the day is long. The late, great political writer Hunter S. Thompson had a great quote for grifters like Chris Christie and it went like this:

“The main problem in any democracy is that crowd-pleasers are generally brainless swine who can go out on a stage & whup their supporters into an orgiastic frenzy—then go back to the office & sell every one of the poor bastards down the tube for a nickel apiece.”

Times have changed and guys like Christie would sell out the schmucks for a nickel a dozen these days. It’s hard to see how Porky Soprano could have any real credibility with conservatives who have been paying close attention ever since he was sliming around the Jersey Shore with Emperor Obama back in 2012 with Barry’s crank practically stuffed into his mouth. People have long memories and those same people are likely to recall that Christie’s Obama love fest probably put a hell of a ding in Mitt Romney’s hopes as did his shamelessly self-centered keynote speech at the Republican National Convention in Tampa.

The biggest laugh line from Christie’s speech today had to be that “Both parties have failed our country by refusing to work together”. I just love these con artists who run against the political establishment by seeking to fix things by putting themselves in charge of that same establishment. Besides, working together would be another word for “bipartisanship” which is code speak for “Fuck You!”. It was the rats working together that just guaranteed millions more lost American jobs by cramming Obamatrade down all of our throats. In layman’s terms it is horseshit and sensible voters should run away from anyone who dares to spout such balderdash as if they had the Ebola virus.

Christie’s “straight talk” vows are cribbed from the senile old bastard John McCain’s failed 2008 run and the infamous “Straight Talk Express”. He also waited a bit too long to try to foist himself off as one who speaks truth to power because that particular role has already been filled by Donald Trump who is gaining in popularity because unlike all of the rest of the poseurs, he can truly run as an outsider.

Christie is pathetic although what will likely be a very short run for the White House will be the source of much fodder for comedians who delight in telling fat jokes.

CNN Refusing to Own Up to "ISIS" Butt-Plug Flag Faux Pas

The self-proclaimed most trusted name in news – CNN – has descended into the sleazy tabloid muck of milking airline disasters and fear mongering about terrorism to grab ratings and it came back to bite the network in the ass over the weekend. During coverage of one of this weekend’s many gay pride fests a dimwit CNN McNews bimbo got her panties in a twist over what was hysterically hyped as an ISIS flag being flown in the middle of the hoopla. The extremist Islamist group isn’t exactly friendly to gay folks – or anyone else for that matter – but leave it to CNN to blindly sound the “be afraid” alarm. Much to the network’s chagrin, the flag that was spotted in London was actually a display of a number of anal sex toys including dildos and butt plugs on a black and white banner that somewhat resembled that of the so called Islamic State. Whoops!

Normally a retraction and apology would be issued from any self-respecting news network but not CNN. This should not surprise anyone who realizes how putrid and corrupt that the mainstream media has become in Obamastan. As of early Monday the network is refusing to cop to the error. As Washington Post media blogger Eric Wemple asks in his column “Will CNN address Islamic State-sex-toy-flag screw-up?”:

John Oliver added his name and HBO franchise (“Last Week Tonight“) to the group hammering CNN for its Saturday “exclusive” on the alarming appearance of an Islamic State flag at London’s Pride parade. Based on reporting from international assignment editor Lucy Pawle, the network claimed that no one but CNN had taken notice of this “unnerving sight.”

Turns out some clever individual had pocked an Islamic State lookalike flag with images of sex toys.

In his sendup of the situation, Oliver said, “The greatest moment in global pride celebrations actually had nothing to do with gay marriage and everything to do with the idiocy of CNN.” After running through the dynamics of the screw-up, Oliver noted that one day after the embarrassment, “They’ve still not addressed that mistake on air, probably because it would be just too embarrassing to have a professional journalist say, ‘I’m sorry, despite working at CNN, I still don’t know what a [phallic sex toy] looks like.”

Nor will CNN be addressing the matter. When asked whether it would issue a statement or otherwise do any interviews on the flag mess, a CNN spokeswoman e-mailed, “no.”

CNN should be quite familiar with dildos considering their so-called ace ‘journalists’ like Peter Bergen, Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper among others, so it is just plain sloppy sensationalism and if nothing else, it should at least be acknowledged by the network that they fucked up. After all, the crackerjack staff at CNN is quick to pounce on the sheer outrage of a Confederate flag cake but that is just pandering to schmucks and currying favor with the Obama regime as well as liberal political correctness Nazis and ginning up emotion to draw eyes and web clicks.

I suppose that we shouldn’t expect anything better from a network so desperate for ratings that it spent so much time airing crackpot theories of the disappearance of that Malaysian jetliner last Spring as well as exploiting the grief of suffering loved ones that it should have renamed itself as the Missing Airplane Network. I was actually somewhat surprised that they didn't find a way to pitch a Natalee Holloway tie in to MH370 but it still may happen. Anyway, I wouldn't worry about spending much time waiting for CNN to apologize for their latest screw up because they have no shame.

Old Blood and Guts McCain Brays for U.S. Taxpayers to Arm Ukraine

You have to love the increasingly senile Senator John McCain. The deranged old bastard is one of the best examples of why term limits are so desperately needed in American politics and he is once again pushing for another costly war. This time though he is agitating for what could turn into a conflict against nuclear armed Russia, not some chickenshit hellhole like Iraq or Afghanistan. You just have to love these guys, they can’t even spend time doing their jobs by securing our own porous borders yet they want to risk provoking a nuclear exchange over an ongoing border dispute in freaking Ukraine, a country that the majority of our dumbed-down populace can’t locate on a map.

McCain’s latest screed was published as an op ed piece in the Washington Post entitled “John McCain: The Russia-Ukraine cease-fire is a fiction”:

Last weekend, I traveled with Sens. John Barrasso (R-Wyo.) and Tom Cotton (R-Ark.) to eastern Ukraine to meet with the courageous men and women fighting there for their country’s freedom and future. I arrived on a solemn day as Ukrainian volunteers grieved the loss of two young comrades killed by Russian artillery the day before. They had lost another comrade a few days before that, and four more the previous week. Their message to me was clear: The cease-fire with Russia is fiction, and U.S. assistance is vital to deterring further Russian aggression.

AND

During my trip, the Ukrainians never asked for the United States to send troops to do their fighting. Ukrainians only hope that the United States will once again open the arsenal of democracy that has allowed free people to defend themselves so many times before.

How we respond to Putin’s brazen aggression will have repercussions far beyond Ukraine. We face the reality of a challenge that many assumed was resigned to the history books: a strong, militarily capable state that is hostile to our interests and our values and seeks to overturn the rules-based international order that American leaders of both parties have sought to maintain since World War II. Among the core principles of that order is the conviction that might does not make right, that the strong should not be allowed to dominate the weak and that wars of aggression should be relegated to the bloody past.

Around the world, friend and foe alike are watching to see whether the United States will once again summon its power and influence to defend the international system that has kept the peace for decades. We must not fail this test.

The inclusion of young Tom Cotton, the Arkansas bathhouse Rambo who is a full blown whore for the military contractors that constantly fleece U.S. taxpayers smacks of the old man passing the baton to a new generation. McCain and the fascist warmongers have been feeding the American people bullshit for months now to start the new Cold War and to send arms and money to a Ukranian puppet government that not only tolerates but openly accepts extremists including neo-Nazis. Yet Americans are supposed to cough up our hard earned money that could be better spent at home to dick around in yet another foreign land that has zero bearing on our own national security. Putin may be world class prick - there is little argument on that - but only suckers and rubes believe that shtick being pushed about him recreating the USSR, the bottom line is what it always is: money. With Obamatrade being shoved down all of our throats by Congress including McCain it is by now obvious who they represent and in McCain's case he has always been a pimp for defense contractors.

Let’s hope that with McCain coming up for reelection again next year – his sixth damned term – that some pro-American conservatives such as the Tea Party gets their act together and sinks his miserable ass in the primary.  I haven’t seen this week’s Sunday morning McNews show guest list yet but it's likely that at least one one of these con artists or Obama’s lunatic new Secretary of Defense Ash Carter will be trotted out. The objective as always is to dupe Americans into sending our troops into harm’s way for nothing more than the continued profits of what President Dwight D. Eisenhower – who knew a thing or two about the subject – tabbed as the Military Industrial Complex.

Neocon Propagandist Accuses Texas “Right Wingers” of being Tools of Vladimir Putin

Since the onset of hostilities in Ukraine last winter, the Obama regime and the State Department have been churning out some real whoppers in order to juice arms sales to European client states. The reviled Russian leader Vladimir Putin has become America’s version of Emmanuel Goldstein and the shills in the media ministry of propaganda are eager to provide the woefully uninformed sheep with their “Two Minutes Hate” to jump start the Cold War.

The prime motivation behind foolishly instigating a conflict with a nuclear armed Russia always seems to have been based on profiteering from perpetual warfare at the expense of providing anything of value to Americans who are being screwed daily by their corrupt government. Now we have the greatest whopper of them all being fed into the media lie machine and it coincides perfectly with the Obama occupying government’s soon to be launched war on dissidents that is being piggybacked onto the national backlash against the Confederate flag. We are now being told to believe that Putin himself is behind the Texas secessionist movement and other dissident groups.

According to a story published by Politico Magazine entitled “Putin’s Plot to Get Texas to Secede” the Kremlin has infiltrated the Lone Star State in something that is so ludicrous that it would be shot down by Hollywood were it a movie script as being beyond belief. The piece, written by one of those payrolled hacks that are so often used ever since the laws against the U.S. government propagandizing its own people were quietly repealed two years ago is a real doozy. A masterpiece of bullshit that you practically need to wear a ventilator to slog through so odious is the piece.

I excerpt the following from “Putin’s Plot to Get Texas to Secede”:

Nathan Smith, who styles himself the “foreign minister” for the Texas Nationalist Movement, appeared last Spring at a far-right confab in St. Petersburg, Russia. Despite roaming around in his cowboy hat, Smith managed to keep a low-key presence at the conference, which was dominated by fascists and neo-Nazis railing against Western decadence. But at least one Russian newspaper, Vzglyad, caught up with the American, noted that TNM is “hardly a marginal group,”and quoted Smith liberally on the excellent prospects for a partial breakup of the United States. Smith declared that the Texas National Movement has 250,000 supporters—including all the Texans currently serving in the U.S. Army—and they all “identify themselves first and foremost as Texans” but are being forced to remain Americans.  The United States, he added, “is not a democracy, but a dictatorship.”  The Kremlin’s famed troll farms took the interview and ran with it, with dozens of bots instantly tweeting about a “Free Texas.”

For Russians, this was delicious payback. Since the breakup of the Soviet Union two decades ago, many Russians have come to blame the United States for their plight; a seething resentment over U.S. culpability in the loss of Russian national power is one of the reasons Vladimir Putin is so popular. It has only worsened since the United States has led an international effort to isolate and sanction Moscow over its annexation of Crimea and incursions into eastern Ukraine.

And

It’s unclear just how high up these propaganda efforts go in the Kremlin. But it can hardly be an accident that last December, in the midst of the ruble’s parlous plummet, Russian President Vladimir Putin lashed out at putative Western hypocrisy. “As soon as they succeed in putting [our bear] on a chain, they will rip out his teeth and his claws,” the president growled.

The think tank dweeb who wrote this steaming pile of horseshit is a guy named Casey Michel (rhymes with Michelle) who seems to have found his calling and the admission that “It’s unclear just how high up these propaganda efforts go in the Kremlin” is such vintage bullshit – unattributed sources, rank speculation – that it could have been uttered by Obama himself.

The entire thing can be read here but unless you have a high tolerance for bullshit you may want to stay away. It is a very interesting bit of timing in that Texans are antsy about what for all intents appears to be a live martial law exercise called Jade Helm that is about to go down. While the feds and their media propagandists have gone to great lengths to demonize anyone who questions Jade Helm as a crank, a tin foil hatter and a conspiracy theorist there is a long history of a fondness for martial law with the feds. It was after all Democratic party hero Franklin D. Roosevelt who rounded up innocent Japanese Americans during World War II, stripped them of their liberty and property and put them into internment camps. There were also programs like Lt. Colonel Oliver North’s REX 84 and God only knows what other sort of schemes have been drawn up for the day that the shit hits the fan.

So now it is really getting bad because once hostilities inevitably develop with Russia, and they are well on the way thanks to Obama’s lunatic Defense Secretary Ash Carter (can’t we bring back someone rational like Donald Rumsfeld?) who has been sliming around in Europe to sell American arms to NATO countries. Once Putin officially goes from being just a guy who humiliated Obama by forcing him to eat a shit sandwich with a vodka chaser by sinking the 2013 attack on Syria into the leader of a country that the U.S. is officially at war with what do you think is going to happen to Texas secessionists and those who dare to question operations like Jade Helm?